Both men and women very often misunderstand Christian marriage and the roles of husbands and wives, but we can once again look to Abraham and Sarah for insight.
Going back to the Lord’s visit to Abraham and Sarah’s laughter when she thought of having a child in her old age, Sarah refers to Abraham as my lord. Peter picks up on this title and uses it as an example of a wife submitting to her husband.
A wife should submit to her husband freely and voluntarily, “not being frightened by any fear.”
Verses like the ones in 1 Peter 3 can stir up accusations of sexism and bad behavior by men who demand that their wives submit to their authority, but without insight from the Holy Spirit we fail to read the rest of the story.
These verses do call on wives to submit without fear, this is true, but you also find that a husband is to show honor to their wives who are fellow heirs. There is something else, if husbands do not treat their wives well, their prayers will be hindered.
Believers should not ignore a central kingdom principle here. Jesus told us that if we want to lead we should follow, if we want to be first, we should be last. We are told that Christians are to put the needs of others above ourselves; this is especially true in marriage.
Abraham showed his devotion to Sarah by putting her needs before his, and the Lord supported this when He told Abraham to obey Sarah in Chapter 21. Whatever Sarah tells you, listen to her!” (Genesis 21:12). In the Hebrew idiom, “to listen” is to obey.
The bible tells husbands and wives to submit one to another and uses different words to communicate this to either sex because we speak different languages.
Marriages are usually broken because we put ourselves first, but they are saved when we put our spouse before ourselves.
